Sunday, November 25, 2012

On the Importance of Trying

Some nights I will stay up too late talking to friends or playing video games and I know that in the morning I'll feel extremely tired. Then, I'll go to sleep. I'll wake up in the morning and, lo, just like I predicted, I feel terrible. I'm tired. My limbs feel heavy. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll tell myself that I just won't bother getting dressed that morning. I'll just throw on some random shirt, something on my legs and shoe myself with whatever I find. Then I reach for a pair of jeans and stop.

I can't wear those jeans.
I can't wear that old t-shirt.
I can't walk past my makeup table.
I can't give up.
I can't give up.

It's a one sentence confirmation of my worth. I get dressed in the mornings because I enjoy it, because I want to, and because I am denying apathy.

Self-Love is a buzz word for persons of the especially female persuasion existing in the modern world for a reason. (For those of you who don't know, Self-Love is the active love and appreciation of yourself as a sort of counter to the normal body hate and under appreciation of oneself) Loving yourself is important. It makes you more productive, happier, more confident, and a slew of other things. Tons of outspoken and successful women are speaking up for it. People like Gala Darling and Angelina have especially spoken up for it. It's certainly becoming increasingly important today.

But what does that really have to do with my inability to wear sweatpants?
Because putting effort into what I do is an affirmation that what I am doing and what I am are both worth it. This is my emotions, my sense of beauty, I'm putting out into the world, but not for anyone else. This is just for me.

And some mornings you may wake up tired, sad, exhausted, willing to just scream and say fuck it to trying. But you need to try. You need to say that you are worth it because you are. You are the person who understands you the most. The person who knows your favorite color. You are your own soul mate. And you should treat yourself well. You deserve it.
So maybe nobody notices when you paint your nails with that new color. It makes you smile, don't give it up.
So maybe your art isn't as well known as someone else's. It doesn't have as many comments. Do you like your art? Does it speak to you? You create, don't give up.
So maybe it's easier to wear that pair of ratty old flats than hunt down that new pair of heels that you love. It's early in the morning. It doesn't matter. But it does-- for you!
When you put effort into things, you are affirming that it has meaning and worth and power. And it does because you do. You are powerful and strong and worth the effort.
Don't ever, ever give up.

Friday, November 2, 2012

2012 pumpkin painting meetup!

Hello everyone! How were your Halloweens? I didn't go anywhere, I just stayed home and watched a bunch of movies, but that wasn't bad at all. I did dress up though! I went to school in my costume. (I was a sugar skull/dia de los muertos skeleton.)
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, mostly in part to it's historical significance and also because jeez, spooky skeletons and candy? What more could a girl ask for? So, I get excited and want to do as much for Halloween as I can! Last year I organized a pumpkin painting meetup for my local lolita group and this year, following the tradition set up the Second Annual Tallahassee Lolita Pumpkin Painting Meetup! It was lots of fun, and since our lolita group has grown, we actually had a decent group this year! Last year we only had 4 people, including myself, come. But this year, we had 6 people come. We're getting there!
It was super fun. We held it at a park, but a cold front blew through so we were all cold. ;-;
It was a simple set up but it was nice. There was apple cider and rolls and sweets. Everyone got a pumpkin to paint too.
Everyone did a really good job on their pumpkins too! We had two extras so my sister and I gave them away to the best pumpkin makers. Haha. I made a yandere pumpkin with the words "I hope sempai notices me" written on the back of it. Mine is on the top right. My sister was the furthest to the right on the bottom and hers was GORGEOUS so I let her pick the winners.
Hayley and I reenacted our pumpkins. I HOPE HAYLEY SEMPAI WILL NOTICE ME.

Group shot! Angel (Who prefers to not have her face shown on the Internet), Hayley, Myself, Mickie, Savannah (my sister), and Kendall. We all tried to dress in lolita versions of costumes or just in general spooky since it was a Halloween meet. Angel was a demon, Hayley was a 1950's malt shop girl, I was a witch (in case you couldn't tell), Mickie was creepy-cute, Savannah was a skeleton, and Kendall was a demon too!
I coordinated my outfit as well as Savannah's and Kendall's all from clothes in my closet.
~I was wearing:
Skirt: Candy Violet
Blouse: Baby the Stars Shine Bright
Shoes: Secret Shop
And all the rest was offbrand!
~Savannah wore:
Blouse: Anna House
Skirt: Chiaki Ayumi
All the rest was offbrand or indie that I can't remember. :<
~Kendall wore
Dress: Baby the Stars Shine Bright
Blouse: Alice Temperly (Old Target line)
Everything else was offbrand.

After we all finished with our pumpkins we were so cold we decided to move to a cafe nearby for the remainder and drink tea and coffee.
We sat around and talked for a good one and a half hours about things. It was super fun.
Hayley is just the most photogenic cutie. I am so jealous.
That was part of my Halloween, I hope you all had great ones too! Till next time!